My patience is limited!

Everybody says, "Don't worry, God will never give you problems which can't be solved by you"
And my deepest heart asks, "Is that true?" 


I don't mind sighing or being ungrateful, but thats what I'm thinking and feeling now. It feels like the problems are too much. It seems like... I've forgotten how's the sense of happiness. That's pathetic. And hurts me so deeply deep.
I thought my life would be better if I already moved. I thought I would have a good brand new life with my mom and bros. But the fact? Never be a reality. Guess what? Yes, I'm feeling so doooown as hell. 

You know hows the feeling in your heart when you're dissapointed so badly bad? Yes, thats what I feel now. I'm angry, I want to cry, I cry, but the condition is still the same. Theres no changing. There are still bunch of problems. It seems like It's good if I just go from this pathetic world.
Well, I never think like that before. And now I suddenly think about "how if I die?". Why do I suddenly think like that? Because theres no supporter around me anymore. Theres no one who 
screams for me. Theres no one who truly cares of me. But I won't die. Cause I remember that tired face, tired of handling me :']
And I hate this feeling. Feeling so regret. Feeling so sad. Feeling so useless. Feeling so complicated. I'm under pressure. I'm stressing out! I want my past back and I'll make it right. I need my happiness back. Just a happiness, can I have it back, GOD? :'(

Now everyday is just the addition of a shit. I be so rude and people start hating on me. I said I didn't care. But I actually care and think about it every minutes. And now thats why I'm down and getting sick. You know it but you just... Don't care. Well... Do you know? I've hated you for sure and theres no room for forgiving. I'm a bad kid? You're a fuckin bad father. I've lost my happiness because of YOU! DON'T YOU KNOW IT? WHEN WILL YOU JUST CARE?
I'm tired of always breaking down. I'm tired of always crying. I be grateful. I even thank God for giving me problems. But I'm also human. My patience is limited. Stop being so selfish and so rude.


And one thing that you have to know, I don't want to make you proud cause I know that you'll never be proud of me. I wish you'll read this and realize that you've made the BIGGEST fault ever and you'll regret it someday!
Remember!! Life is like a wheel, it's spinning, now you're on but who knows for the next day? You may be down and you realize that you already lost me.






(-̩̩-̩̩-̩̩̩_-̩̩-̩̩-̩̩)‎

Uca♥

sumpah bahasa inggris aku masih dibawa standar layak ya? sory banget ini bener bener iseng buat ko readers hehehe hope next post will be better from it ya ☺